I'm Working T_T

Well, i dont think i can put up with loooong post anymore because i am working as part-timer. I work from Monday to Friday and sometimes Saturday from 1000 to 1800. At least da pay is kinda gud. 32$/day :D Sadly, i will not have sufficient time with my computer stuff and i guess my plan to learn C++ and graphic will have to wait. What do i do??? Well, i work in a wholesale boutique-like shop. Introduced to the auntie (boss) by my elder cousin. It sounds like as if i am in a 'females only' shop but it isnt that simple. The guys have to carry the purchased items the customers bought to their respective vehicles. And sometimes, we even have to carry or drag (like me) the BIG gunny sack which is full of new cloths into the storeroom. I dont serve customers but my cousin do and i am usually the one who take stocks for the customers and lemme tell ya, it ain't light when da stocks is in a BIG set like 30 cloths or something at once. And furthermore, with this laggy stupid internet connection, it just make the matter worse. I guess this is where i will stop la cause i am very very tired and sleepy d. Renzokuzen Chaos out!

My Exam Is Over.

Most of my friends are/were so relieved that the school life is over but well, not me. I miss my school a lot!!! Not really my school but my friends. Of course we will still keep in touch with each other but not that often. We cant/dont talk that often anymore because we're not in school anymore. Another thing is that,i still cant let go of Circe despite i tried and tried. But as time goes on, so should I right? Just like what the Home Made Kazoku's song, "Life Goes On and On". This will be quite a short post because i am still busy with my stuff. So, until then :D

Play Any Of These Below.

Howdy...try one or more of these :D It's very nice :D


Get the code at www.winterrowd.com


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Get the code at www.winterrowd.com


Get the code at www.winterrowd.com


Get the code at www.winterrowd.com


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Get the code at www.winterrowd.com


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Get the code at www.winterrowd.com

Illusion

Rapidshare stuff.

Well, i just wanna share the things i uploaded on rapidshare. Not much and i hope it's useful to you(anyone).

Chain by Back-On from the anime, Airgear:
http://rapidshare.com/files/53740457/Chain.mp3

Additional Mathematic for SPM students: http://rapidshare.com/files/62191356/MT2007.ppt

SPM MARA Trial Paper (2006) Credit goes to Edward.:
http://rapidshare.com/files/63588802/2006_SPM_Mara_trial.rar

If you do not mind, please do download this:
http://rapidshare.com/files/53760726/DoNotStart.exe

The Sweetest Girl by Akon, Wyclef Jean and Lil Wayne:
http://rapidshare.com/files/67778410/Sweetest_Girl.mp3

It's useless but i hope that someone will just download it...

SPM COMING SOON!!!

Well, guess what? I actually can piggyback wi-fi from one of my neighbour. Apparently, my neighbour does not set a password for its connection. So, i just use it... Despite my knowledge on graphics and computer, i do not know if the wi-fi connection actually logs IDs, password and stuff. So, i dont really dare to type my personal stuff inside lolz. But i doubt that they do so though, i have such a thought. SPM is just around the corner and I HAVENT DO ALL THOSE READINGS YET!!! I still got a lot to catch up but SPM is kicking in about one week or two!!! My chemistry, physic and biology is still on the border while history is the only thing i've been reading and that too only till Chapter 12!!! Sigh...such a tension...i can’t believe i am actually still blogging lol...

Anyway, here's my 'After SPM to do list'.

1. Learn and improve my graphic skill.
2. Learn c++.
3. Further expertise on house chores.
4. Vacation on Genting, Langkawi and Singapore. (I doubt i will go to S'pore cause it takes me 1 week plus time)
5. Workout.
6. Gain weight.
7. Buy all Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl novels and Percy Jackson novels
8. Get ready for National Service.

Well, i do not know which batch i am in for NS but i seriously hope that i am in the first batch which is from Jan till March. On the other hand, i am done with Circe (though my heart says otherwise). Well, i think it's time to move on with my life and well, just get on with it. Maybe friends are what we should be and not something else. Frankly, Circe is the first person i ever dear so much after my family. Well, again, frankly speaking, i do not know much about Circe but well, Circe just has this effect on me where i want the best out of it. I just do not know why and i really do not wanna think about it anymore cause the more i think about it, the more confuse i become.

I do not know if it's worth rejecting so many people because of her. Maybe yes, maybe no. But seriously, i do not want to know. Hey it rhymes! Lolz...i always does that whenever i make such rhymes. Anyway, one people managed to break through this invisible love/like barrier of mine and it's Kim (short for Kimberly). She managed to change my mind towards Circe thanks to her advices. Anyway, SPM is coming and i wanna say all the best to my following good friends.

All the best and good luck to:

- Me myself :p
- Circe (well, i do not know what to say)
- Edward (whom i stupidly argued with)
- Matthew (friend since primary)
- Nazrin (my good buddy)
- Marcus (my twin like friend)
- Meng Jon (he's like a brother i never know i had and also a person whom i always like to be with cause he just makes me so happy with his stupid jokes)
- Eric (my brother like friend)
- T'ng Choong (top boy in my school and a very nice friend)
- Sim a.k.a Bang Kuang Boy a.k.a BKB (computer freak)
- Kelvin.L (i hate him and like him from time to time)
- Wen (online buddy)
- Kelvin (my tuition friend)
- Eugene (another tuition friend)
- Ken (yup, another tuition friend)
- Lun Xiang (kinda nerdy and slowpoke but well, still a nice friend)
- Nicholas (my cousin)
- Mohana (used to a friend whom i like to talk with)
- Razeen (my primary school best friend)
- Fikri (wherever you are)
- Satish (wherever you are)


- Amber (a nice friend whom liked me lolz and she's a break dancer, HOT!!!)
- Xia Wen (i never knew you existed in my life, haha….JK)
- Lee Yip (my dance partner)
- Guendeline (my dear cousin)
- Caroline (a cheerful girl)
- Wan (far relative)
- Boon Joon (she plays Maple, Warcraft, R.O. and others, hot!!!)
- Chia Hoey (ice kacang girl)
- Sin Wah (know you since like... small)
- Joey (sorry but you're not my cup of tea)
- Sharon (beautiful name matches beautiful people)

Well, and any other whom i may have missed their name out... :D FYI, color do not signifies anything. It's just for the sake of fun :P

ALL THE BEST TO ALL OF YOU AND GOOD LUCK (if there are any and if you believe in luck).

Have You Ever Asked Yourself?

WARNING, the following post contains sensitive issue in certain countries and by reading the following post, YOU hereby agree on my term.

YOU are hereby agree that YOU will not report or take any legal/illegal action on the following post. And YOU hereby, all lawsuit or actions will be nulled automatically.

Have you ever asked yourself why you believe in God? Have you ever asked yourself why you chose this religion? Have you ever asked yourself why you believe in Angels and Demons, God And Devil? Have you ever asked yourself does spiritual realm exist? Have you ever asked yourself do people really get possessed by those ghost/spirits/devil/demon? Have you ever asked yourself if Virgin Mary really a virgin? Have you ever asked yourself how they know Jesus is really the son of God? Have you ever asked yourself who is God? Have you ever asked yourself if what Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. said is true? Have you ever asked yourself how'd they know what the Jesus, Nabi, whatever Tao and Buddhist gods said? Have you ever asked yourself who wrote the Holy Bible, Al-Quran, Vedas, Sutras etc? Have you???

These are those few questions i kept asking myself. I tried to ask others too but i failed to get the answer. And one thing, i will never get an answer from my family. Why? I am a Chinese and i will be scolded if i ever question Gods. Who are these deities? Are they just a spirit or god? Is there the existence of Celestial Realm and Nether Realm? I am confuse. I dont even know if i believe in God. I just dont know. From time to time, i will pray to those Tao gods. But i do have some faith in Lady Guan Yin. I do not know why but i just do. Sometimes, i silently challenged God if they exist. Frankly speaking, in the same time, i do feel scared if i actually offended them. Do you believe in the story of Adam and Eve just like that? What can you explain where the scientists actually created unicellular microorganism if i am not mistaken it's paramecium sp. out of chemicals? Are we created by chemicals too?

Who are Zeus, Poseidon and Hades? Who are the minor gods, Athena, Prometheus, Artemis, Ares, Hera, Eros, etc? Do they really exist? Why are these such stories like Heracles and Odysseus? What about the Hindu? It is believed to be one of the oldest religion? Where did that came from? I am kind of desperate in knowing answers to these questions. I always keep these to myself fearing that i will be criticized or being treated as an outcast. The reason i voice out here and right now is because i am on the net and i do not think that my friends will be reading any of my blog since i kept it as a secret from them.

How can i get these answer. Sometimes, i cant find ways to express myself. I feel like being played. Stuck between these two realms of good and evil which i do not even know if it even exist. I used to have faith in gods but as time goes by...so does the faith. My experience encountering these spirits/ghosts makes me rethink again. And the more i think, the worst i feel. I really do not know if we human should just believe in god just like that. And if so, why are there so many religion? We are human right? We are homo sapien and we are one and only one. But why do we have so many different kinds of gods and believes? Why do the so merciful and lovable god separate us? I know my post are filled with unanswered questions and in the same time there too may be some confusion within my words but well, i just hope that someday, someone will enlighten me with the truth and only truth.

F.A.I.T.H.

ARGH!!! LIZARD!!!

It's been a very very long while since our family had such a scare-funny situation. Yesterday or rather early in the morning today, our family had this lizard crisis. Well, i think i should be the one to be blamed for this lizard issue. It's a very rainy day yesterday and according to my mom, rain attracts insects and small little animals. I live at 20th floor on a condominium and well, i like the scenery in my parent's room that faces the mountains. So, i opened the floor length window and get myself to the balcony. And oh my gosh...a little lizard actually dropped onto my arm and sweatz...i slap it away and into my parent's room. I told my mom about it and she and my sister started to scold me for this stupid act. All of the sudden, the lizard came out of nowhere and sweatz...my mom and sis screamed like banshee and it was around 0100!!! My mom ran away from the lizard while my sister jumped into the bed. And thank heaven that i was outside trying to find something to catch the lizard.

Of course i am not the one who's going to catch it because i am afraid of little things like lizard, frog, spider and stuffs. Well, what to do? I woke my grandfather up and ask him to catch the lizard for us. My mom, sis and I were like a bunch of clowns laughing at each other for the stupid acts we did and in the same time, not helping my gramps at all. The lizard crawled into my mom's cupboard and my mom and sis ordered me to help my gramps cause i am the one who caused all these havocs. I help my gramps to 'spy' on the lizard and when we found it, my gramps use a stick and actually like dig it from the wall and accidentally throw it at me. I made a very loud screech and some sort of girl like for heaven sake. I ran as fast as possible and actually jumped onto my mom's bed. On the other hand, my mom and sis too run far far away from that place and my screech made them run away further. And then, another hit from my gramps and flush~~~ the lizard is out of my house!!!

Hooray!!! Three cheers for my gramps! After that, we were laughing like hell and all of us had a small stomach ache from all the laughs we had. It's been a looong loong time since we had this kind of fun. Now, i am wondering if my gramps is not here anymore, who's going to catch all these small little things? My dad isn’t that brave either. Maybe it's cause well, we're not exposed to all these kinds of insects and small animals...

It's Hard To Accept The Fact.

I am kinda sick today and it just sucks... I went online today and browse some profile and came across Circe's. Read those things people sent and OH MY GOD!!! Someone actually asked if Circe is with someone. Although i only have a so-called crush, i instantly broke down and my heart was shattered through the 1 000 000th floor of an apartment. It really breaks my heart. I know that all these while i am the one who's playing the game all by myself but this is one thing and another thing when you know that your crush are with someone else. Ugh...i don't know what to say. So far, i had accepted the fact that i'm not the perfect match but sigh...i just couldn't let it go.

Trust me, i did a lot of things to forget about Circe but...it's like something is playing with me. Whenever i nearly forget all about Circe, something will come and like block my way from doing that. Is that what they called 'destiny'? Or i am just thinking too much with all the pressure i am facing? I am going to Singapore for a one week stay on the week of Christmas. Should i just go without informing or should i inform Circe and hopefully we can meet somewhere? But i doubt Circe will be there cause it's Christmas and it means celebration... Well, whatever it is...i think i will just wish 'all the best to you, Circe.'

On the other hand, Jasmine too had gone to S'pore and this is one of the reason i am going...

Circe / Jasmine/ Edward.

By reading the following post, YOU are hereby agree that YOU will not report or take any action on the following post. And hereby, all lawsuit or actions will be nulled automatically. As a warning, the following post contains critics and again by reading it, YOU hereby agree on my term.

Frankly speaking, i do not want to end up like the Namewee. That's why i do this.

Lots of things had happened since my exam is over but i do not have time to post anything due to my BIG exam this November. Wish me luck :p, if there's any lolz. Well, i will make this short. And the short i mean is what happened during the long period when i am not posting.(sorry, i know it's bad English). First of all, well, about my love life.

It's seems to me that i still can't forget anything about Circe although i've forced myself to do so. Trust me, i even forced myself to like someone else. Which turns out that we are just good friends which i'm so glad we are and appreciate it very much. At first, i thought that well, at least i am into someone else and not Circe but, soon enough, i realize that i dont have any feeling towards this person. Well, i do treat this person as a family member but that's it. That's what my love towards this person and nothing more. But sometimes, I/we go overboard and i do something normally people wont/doesnt do lolz.

Second of all, my family friend is leaving us.

We (my sisters and my family friend, Jasmine) have decided to spend our one last week with her in a memorable way. Penang is a small place but we managed to do quite a lot of things. First, we had a great weekend by staying up all night which in the same time, i broke my own record for the hours of waking up. Previous record was about 27 Hours but this time, 48 Hours. But the bad part was, i am so fatigued on the day i woke up. Back to Jasmine. Well, on Saturday, i didnt went to Gurney and Queensbay with them (Jas, sis and friends) cause i had an argument with my eldest sister. I had to take a ride on her car if i were to follow them but i've decided not to back down. So, i stayed at home. Me, some friends accompanied her till morning at my home playing card games and computer games.

Early in the morning we had breakfast and went back to again my house to play some more. At night, we had dinner on a restaurant-like shop eating 'Hu Tao Bee Hoon' or rather 'Fish Head Bee Hoon'. The name is like that but well, we didnt really eat those. Later on, we went to the beach behind Paradise Hotel and captured some great pictures there. Checkout my friendster profile to look at the pics. My com is going crazy so i cant upload any pics. Maybe next time, maybe not. Well, we had lots of fun and that's it. Sadly, she's going to Singapore to further her studies and probably won't come back here again. Her relatives stays there and she herself plans to get P.R. (permanent resident) and move her family there. Since her sister is also working there. But of course she will come back for holiday once in a while. And about dont know how many years later, my 2nd sis is going in followed by my eldest sis. Soon after, it's my turn to migrate there and most probably, me too will apply for P.R.

Frankly speaking, Malaysia sucks in the sense of government. I like my country but not the way they administer it. In moral, they teach us about the word 'ADIL' (justice/fair) but the government themselves are not fair. They always give priorities to the Malays and not us, the Chinese, Indians and other races. The only thing that worries us is our parents. We (sis and me) dont think our parents wanna move to S'pore with us.

Third of all,

Well, i just saw the comment Edward wrote to me.I dont really check my blogger things that often and i just found out other than his comment, there are others too and sweatz...it's like more than a year. Frankly speaking, I've totally forgotten about why i am angry of him until i read my previous post. But then again, actually i am only angry like for a few days. And after that, i am just playing with the angry thing. It seems that it lasted kinda long but i kinda like stuck to it. Well, since i dont think he's reading my post anymore, i dare to say this. After the incident, i dream about him quite a few days. I dreamed about him saying sorry to me and me saying sorry to him and all that kind of stuffs. Well, in his comment and the post in his blog he asked me to read. I'd like to say that i agree on certain ones and disagree on certain ones.

First of all, i do not defend my friend because i'm obligated to do so but it's because i wanna do so and seeing someone whom i consider like a best/good friend said is bad...reeeeeealy bad. Well, now i know that he's not the one who wrote 'M2K loves Daniel', it makes clear of everything. But one thing is that, i have doubt that he never said he despises me. But, what the heck. I am not really a person who keep all these kind of thing. Maybe the Malay proverb 'Masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri, tetapi ada yang sudah terpahat di hati' is correct but well, i tend to forget all the bad things easily. I am not that calculative, and sometimes, i do the 'Chin Luien Kam Feng' thing just like that. Translated in English it meant something like, 'Money throw here, throw there'. Sorry i hate translating cause i am really stupid in explaining stuff. I do miss him as a friend and i wonder if this is fate cause i just talk to him today out of desperation to call Matthew and here i am. Checking out my blog and found his comment.

Anyway, i do have to agree a small group of friends is better than a big group of friends. I too have seen many who were neglected by their big group of friends just like that. In a big group of friends, you dont or maybe wont really know what's inside them and as a result, a more unstable friend relationship occurs. Since i am in primary i have this habit of having small groups of friends. I started on standard 1 with Chu Han and Kuan as my best friends and later on developed into four by adding Matthew into the list. But on the last year of my primary, things changed. Conflicts occurs and i have a new group of friends with Razeen, Fikri, Satish and me myself. It's really a multiracial group with the Muslim Razeen, Malay, Indian and Chinese. I do miss the time with them and i do miss Fikri and Satish. I've lost contact with them except Razeen because he's in the same school as i am. Fikri went to boarding school while Satish's UPSR result wasnt good and were sent to SMK Georgetown.

Well, i do wanna make further elaboration but well, i guess time is the essence and i have to take my nap before i go for tuition. But i guess that's all. One thing is that i will not say sorry to Edward cause i dont think i am all wrong and sorry isnt the kind of word i usually use and furthermore, it's kinda hard to say sorry just like the song sang by Blue "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word". I do not know if this will be my last post until SPM is over but i hope that i have some more time to spend on my blog. Tataz... Renzokuzen, out.

What do you think about this?

Basically, i know i am a guy or rather male myself. But I wanna ask something. Do you think that MOST/MANY GUYS ARE STUPID??? Stupid in a way that not literally stupid but 'actionly' stupid. Well i know it's kind of hard to understand what i mean cause i dont really understand what i am saying too right now :p. Anyway, i will give out a general example instead.

Girls: They think before they act and always have a backup plan before doing something.
Guys: They just do what they want without thinking the consequences or the side effect.

Do you support what i said? I will give you some examples i've come through.

Guys==>

1. Both of my friends are gossiping about someone. And they gossip it loudly. Sweatz... i've told them that the volume of their gossiping can be heard by me and they just 'sweep' me off by saying 'no we're not talking about him/her/whatever'. Fine i thought. Then, they are giving nicknames to people like calling my friends Britney, Madonna or whatever. (BTW, if you're reading this, then no offense cause i'm just giving example and i did not say who you are.) And lolz...i know who are they lol although every time they denied who the person is. I cant tell you how they say but then it's SUPER OBVIOUS.

2. Again my friend gossiped about me and i was treated like an outcast for a while. I do not know why in the first place but then lolz...again obvious actions shows why i was treated as an outcast. Urm...they somehow discriminate me over some stupid thing but at last it turns out to be bogus. Can't they like do thing more secretly???

3. One of my friends bought some porno and was caught by his mom. Where'd he kept it? Well stupid enough, in his drawer. Sweatz...his father own a big house or rather bungalow and he's stupid enough to keep in his drawer and the worst of all, how come he doesnt come up with a backup plan. Like, 'In case my parents or whosoever found my porn, i should do this and that'.

While for the girls ==>

1. One of my friends is a lesbian and she came from a very strict family. Well, we're like best friend so, we tell each other many or maybe everything lolz. So this is what happened. She's not allowed to have cellphone(s) but her urmz... 'boyfriend' bought her a cellphone. Once, her mom founds out that she has a cellphone and she asked whose cellphone is this and his dad immediately grab from her and check all the stuffs inside. Found some love messages and what's her excuse? Well, she tells her parents that sweatz...the cellphone is mine and i am her lover and we're breaking up. And for an extra, she says that she denied my love but I'm persistent and as a result, she didn't get scolded because it's so called 'my fault'. But i do not get scolded either lolz. Because i did some explanations too lolz...

2. This one is a bit funny but then it's true. She has a boyfriend and other than that she has many friends. But because she wants her status to be 'single and available', so she didn't tell anyone that she has a boyfriend. But she do tell me lolz...cause she's my god sister. Then how do they meet? Well, again i was used. Everyone or rather her friends know about our relationship. And so, i become the midman or whatever and lolz...follow them go dating lolz but then i am a 'lamppost' and must be one. And in case anyone asks who is he? Well, he's just my friend lolz...

I guess that's all i want to say. See, the girls have backup plans but do the guys have them? No...they dont and they act stupidly. I know not all of them are like so but then according to science. It's true. I read it from a book that guys act without thinking while girls does. Maybe you guys out there will deny about it but then, i wont say no. It's just my opinion or the way i think. That's all...

Who is Circe?

In Greek mythology, Circe or Kírkē (Greek Κίρκη, falcon), was a Queen goddess (or sometimes nymph or sorceress) living on the island of Aeaea.

Circe's father was Helios, the God of the Sun and the owner of the land where Odysseus' men ate cattle, and her mother was Perse, an Oceanid; she was sister of Aeetes, the king of Colchis and of Pasiphaë and Aga. Circe transformed her enemies, or those who offended her, into animals through the use of magical potions. She was renowned for her knowledge of drugs and herbs.

In Homer's Odyssey, her home Aeaea is described as a water mansion standing in the middle of a clearing in a dense wood. Around the house prowled lions and wolves, the drugged victims of her magic; they were not dangerous, and fawned on all newcomers. Circe worked at a huge loom. She invited Odysseus' crew to a feast, the food laced with one of her magical potions, and she turned them all into pigs with a wand after they gorged themselves on it. Only Eurylochus, suspecting treachery from the outset, escaped to warn Odysseus and the others who had stayed behind at the ships. Odysseus set out to rescue his men, but was intercepted by Hermes and told to procure some of the herb moly to protect him from the same fate. When her magic failed she was so astonished that he was unaffected that she fell in love with him and agreed to return his men to human form. For one year Odysseus and Circe were lovers. She later assisted him in his quest to reach his home.
Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus, by John William Waterhouse.
Circe Offering the Cup to Odysseus, by John William Waterhouse.

According to Homer, she suggested to Odysseus two alternative routes to return to Ithaca: either toward the "Wandering Rocks" (possibly the pumiceous Lipari Islands; in the 13th-century Chinese travel notes of Chou Ju-kua they are called similarly), where King Aeolus reigned. Or, to pass between the dangerous Scylla and the whirlpool Charybdis, conventionally identified with the Strait of Messina.

Towards the end of Hesiod's Theogony (1011f) we find that Circe bore of Odysseus three sons: Agrius (otherwise unknown), Latinus, and Telegonus who ruled over the Tyrsenoi, that is the Etruscans.

Later poets generally only speak of Telegonus as Odysseus' son by Circe. When grown to manhood, later poets reported, she sent him to find Odysseus, who had long since returned to his home on Ithaca, but on arrival Telegonus accidentally killed his father. He brought the body back to Aeaea and took Odysseus' widow Penelope and son Telemachus with him. Circe made them immortal and married Telemachus, while Telegonus made Penelope his wife.

Dionysius of Halicarnassus (1.72.5) cites Xenagoras the historian as claiming that Odysseus and Circe had three sons: Romus, Anteias, and Ardeias who respectively founded three cities called by their names: Rome, Antium, and Ardea.

That Circe also purified the Argonauts for the death of Apsyrtus may be early tradition.

In later tales Circe turned Picus into a woodpecker for refusing her love, and Scylla into a monstrous creature with six dogs' heads when Glaucus (another object of Circe's affection) declared his undying love for her. She had one daughter: Aega.

In my case, Circe is someone else and not this Greek's Circe.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circe

I've Got A New Baby!!!

Pictures of Shu Vern.

10 days before Merdeka is her birthday. My aunt just gave birth to my little cousin and is a SHE!!! I never have a baby SHE before in my entire life. Well, maybe i do but then i'm still immature/small and i do not know how to take care of them yet. But now, i get a chance to have my hands on the little cute angel... Furthermore, i like babies and just like Darren Boy, she's another one of my treasure. Not only for me but for my whole family. The last baby ever in my family was in year 1996 and after 11 years, here comes Shu Vern (pronounced as Shue Wern). Well nothing much to say really. But then, we've decided to take her pictures now and then just like what we did towards Darren Boy. Since small till now. From the cute little Darren Boy to the little mischievous Darren Boy. I wonder what will our little Shu Vern be...



Pictures Of Darren Boy

I've got a new keyboard :D

So, i guess that i will resume my blogging ASAP. But for now...sorry ler...too busy...

Agree or disagree?

The Mail I Recieved.

Hi All MBC Malaysia Born Chinese/ Malaysian (not from U*NO),

Sometimes i am quite fedup after c all this negetive news but its a real fact...

After 50 years, this situation not get better but even become worse. You can go and check 100 most richest man in Malaysia (but those more than 40 years old are not conuted) then you will understand what is our situation that we will be in 10 or 20 years time in future. Our ecomomy are control by those people (bu*i/ bum* plus UM*O member). (most important is they must have very close relationship with U*NO high management)

In order for you to have a better day in your future, you have 3 options:

1st. try and get the qualification to join UM*O or party that have very close relationship with U*NO (make sure you are top management).

2nd. try and change this situation since the election is coming soon.

3rd. ready and move out from this beautiful conutry

Happy 50 years independent day!!!

Facts from - Malaysia

Are all these facts true?

I know personally that Facts 8, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33 & 34 are TRUE!

So how can we celebrate Malaysiaku Gemilang (50 ^th Independence ) when the country we are suppose to defend and love treats non-Malays differently?

The list below covers a period of 49 years since Independence Day in Malaysia , since 1957.

1. Out of all the 5 major banks in Malaysia , only one bank is own by multi-racial, the rest are controlled by Malays.

2. 99%of Petronas (the only one petroleum company) directors are Malays.

3. 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese.

4. 99% of 2000Petronas gasoline stations are owned by Malays.

5. 100% all contractors working under Petronas projects must be "bumi's status" (Malay).

6. 0% of non-Malays staffs are legally required in Malay's companies. But there must be 30% Malays staffs in Chinese companies. And big companies in Malaysia require a 51% shareholder Malay hold as director status. Which this mean non-Malays own company needs to give their property to Malays. And non-Malays citizen can't really own their business.

7. 5% of all new intake for government police, nurses, army, are non-Malays.

8. 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), drop from 40% in 1960.

9. 2% is the percentage of non-Malays government servants in Putrajaya ( Malaysia main government office). Malays make up 98%.

10. 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the whole government (in 2004), drop from 30% in 1960.

11. 95% of government contracts are given to Malays; even it is an open tender. Non-Malays contractors tender the lower price and use better materials can't get the contract that government given.

12. 100% all business licensees are controlled by Malay government e.g. Taxi permits, Approved permits, etc. and all the license are given to government officer families.

13. 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah (north of peninsular Malaysia ) had to be sold to Malay and controlled by Bernas (Government Org.) since 1980s.

14. 8000 billions Ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to Malays pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA, privatization of government agencies like Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over 34 years periods.

15. 48 Chinese primary schools closed down since 1968 – 2000

16. 144 Indian primary schools closed down since 1968 – 2000

17. 2637 Malay primary schools built since 1968 – 2000

18. 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Indian schools got only 1%, Malay schools got 96.5%

19. Chinese parent with RM1000 salary (monthly) cannot get school-text- book-loan, and a Malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible.

20. 10 all public universities vice chancellors are Malays. And politics in universities are held by Malays. If non-Malays want to form a politics parties, there is no way to get approved.

21. 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under "Look East Policy".

22. 128 STPM (High Study / A Level) Chinese top students could not get into the course that they aspired i.e. Medicine and doctors (in 2004). Malays with not qualify result can get into the course.

23. 25% Malaysian Chinese population in 2004, drop from 45% since 1957 because no government support for non-Malays.

24. 7% is the present Malaysian Indians population (2004), a drop from 12% since 1957.

25. 2 millions Chinese Malaysians had emigrated to overseas since 40 years ago due to unfair politics.

26. 0.5 million Indians Malaysians had emigrated to overseas.

27. More than 3 millions Indonesians had migrated into Malaysia and became Malaysian citizens with Bumi's status.

28. 600,000 Chinese and Indians with "red I/C" (a temporary identity card) were rejected repeatedly when applying for citizenship for 40 years. This shows racism of how easily Indonesians got their citizenships compare with the Chinese and Indians.

29. 5% - 15% discount for a Malay to buy a house.

30. 0 temples/churches were built for housing estate. But every housing estate MUST have at least one mosque/surau.

31. 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout Malaysia since 1970 with full government support. No temples, no churches were built in housing estates that were supported by the government.

32. 1 Catholic Church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to be constructed. But told by Malay authority that it must look like a factory and can't look like a church. Still not yet approved since 2004.

33. 1 publishing of Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002).

34. 12% is what ASB/ASN got per annum while banks fixed deposit is only about 3.5% per annum.

Thank you,

From,
Malaysian Race Humanity 2006

_____________________________________________________________________________________

My reply,

Yes, i agree that most of the benefits in our country are being given out to the Malays but then try to think about it. We live in Malaysia and the word 'Malay' tells you everything. So of course priority will be given to the Malays followed by other races. YOU (the writer) kept mentioning mostly about Chinese again and again and where is the Indians and other races? This also shows that if you're a part of the government, YOU will do the same thing as what our government did, with priority given to the Chinese. So what the heck? If you dislike Malaysia, then get the hell out of here or just follow the footsteps of Wee Meng Chee (writer of Negarakuku) or whatever his name is. In case you are stupid enough, there is this thing called 'Rancangan Malaysia' and the motive of this RM is to 'repair' our country and unites the races. Maybe you should go buy a Form 5 Sejarah book and revise about it. Please, stop being so proud of the Chinese. We are not very different from the Malays. Try to go to crowded places and see what we Chinese does. I went to the Astro ATQ recently and what did i see?

1st, a father of 3 daughters kept shouting rude words toward the guard in charge to let us in. I know it's crowded but heck, he himself is the one who wants to go to the ATQ and now he is condemning the guard. Scolding him vulgars and please, you are a father of 3 daughters and a husband of someone. Can't you behave as a father and husband?

2nd, some Chinese broke the entrance to the hall/stadium/whatever just because they can't wait and wants to go in.


In other occasion, do you know what is the meaning of Kelengna (indians), Ang Moh Kau (eurasian) and Huan Na (Malay)?

Indians were called Kelengna because when they came here long time ago, their legs were chained with bells which make the sound 'keleng' 'keleng'. In modern days, when an Indian were called Kelengna, he who are actually criticizing them. Indicating that they are slave(s) long time ago.

Ang Moh Kau well, if you're know Hockien, they you know that it means, Red Hair Baboon/Monkey.

Huan Na, means stubborn people or so.

Why we doesn't name ourselves this kind of things instead, The'ng Nang? Well, i don't really know what that means but then, it doesn't sounds criticizing as the others are/were.

On the other hand, such a mail like yours may make us repeat the tragedy of 13 May if you do know about it.
The government are trying their best to unite the races and here you are flaming us about how bad Malaysia is etc etc. You're soooo impertinent. By the way, if you dare to say/write this out, why don't you dare to type the word UMNO, Bumiputera? Yes you might deny about it but since you're such a chicken, then don't flame the government. If you dislike Malaysia, then feel free to go other country and apply for citizenship. NO ONE(disclude friends and family) will stop such a stupid, useless, idiotic person like you from going to other country. I must praise Wee Meng Chee for daring to criticize Malaysia DIRECTLY and not INDIRECTLY like you. Though, for your information, your (the writer) identity will be tracked down by the governments if i were to send a copy of this to the them. Look yourself or in this case, your race before you criticize/condemn others.

Last of all, i may not know who you are but then i dare to say , TO THE HELL WITH YOU. Brainless freak.

by,
Cronos Renzokuzen Chaos.

By the way, for your information, i am a Chinese myself.

Cant post.

Well, although i know that there's barely anyone who reads my blog (both glad and sad), i would just like to make a short post. There's something crazy going with my stupid keyboard which prompt me to logs off every few buttons i press, therefore, i wont be posting anything until i get a new keyboard which is on the way...i think :p

I am confused. / You despise me.

Well, for once in my life, i am somehow different. Different in the way i feel. Usually, i do things according to my conscience but now it's somehow different. My conscience asked me to go for it but then, i take a step back and dare not to step forward. Though i know my love towards Circe will not blossom, i still go for it. Why? Because my conscience said so. But now, things have/had change. Now i treat you as a normal friend and the worst of all i dare not to go for others anymore although a few of them give me 'signs' that they like me. I guess it's because the incident i made. But, i do not blame at anyone, neither you. I blame on myself for my wrong doing. Although now i tell you that you're just my friend, my heart tells me otherwise. Why? I still look at you from time to time and for some reason, i do not know why you kept looking at me. This really confuse me but i've decided to leave it be. I've decided not to be pushy and take things slowly. But then, it's as if i am cursed with the pain of love, there came another whom i consider does not in my life before.

For that, he who shall be named Ca (pronounced as Kae). Weird huh? But then it's a nice name, to me. Ca showed some so called 'signs' to me but every time i pretended that i am stupid or whatsoever. Well, every time i do so, Ca will show some childish behavior like angry at me a while or something like that. But one thing, Ca did something no one else (family not included) did for me. Of course i am glad but i prefer to stay pessimistic about it. What Ca did? Well, lets just say that i was being defended...somehow but i dont really know how. Frankly speaking, i do not know that i was 'defended' until Ca tell me about it. (blush) Anyway, i swore to myself that i will not be going on any relationship until i've confirmed that i really have no feeling towards Circe, which now, still lies strongly in my heart and mind.

Impertinent

I do not know what's wrong with you. And yes, maybe i am a bit crazy and i wrote stupid things on your desk. But then, does that makes me 'eligible' to be release tantrum upon? Well, yes maybe i am annoying but then, i just want my friends to share the happiness with me. Maybe to you it's nothing but then of course i am happy about my thing. Did i ever brag about you talking about Mariah Carey all day long? Did i even say that you're annoying because you kept asking me to listen to Mariah Carey songs? NO! I dare to say that. When we were at Prangin Mall once, you kept asking me to listen to MC's song and i was reluctant to do so but did i give you a sour face? NO i did not. I just listen to your song and said that you're just being unreasonable because you force me to listen to MC's song. Well, now Matt is not here the whole week. Who'd you talk and walk with other than people from your class? You will have me and Nazrin if you hadnt DESPISES me. I am okay with that but one thing. I do not have a thick face to talk to you like what D-phobia does. You dislikes despises me, and off you go. I will not go and say 'Hey...how are you'. Well, maybe i will do that in your dream.

When you need money, i will just lend it to you without complaining or being stingy. I dont even ask for the money you owe me if you do not give. Why? Because i appreciate our friendship and money is not that important compare to a <s>TRUE friend. I know that i am the one who's willingly to do it and i should not bring this out but then, it's the fact. The worst of all, i cant believe that you actually wrote 'M2K loves Daniel' on Physic's and Chemistry's lab table. I found myself very stupid for defending you when Reuben and others from my class called you and Matt GAY. I shouldnt have done that. It looks as if myself being toyed around. And FYI, the reason i am not doing any revenge, spreading any rumours or whatsoever because you do help me and i do appreciate that. You had became the 'Mid Man' between me and Circe and i know what i did last year out of rage and anger and realized my stupidity. That's all i want to say and this time, i will not back down or run to you and say 'I am sorry for scribbling at your desk'. That's because, you yourself scribbles at your own desk and others too.

Keyboard and Mouse Kept.

Well, the title says it all. I will blog again when i have the chance... For now, i need to go and kinda busy too...

Avril Lavigne.

I really like her. She changed from her Gothic image to a pretty innocent-like image. Her first debut was Let Go which was released in 2002 and was sold 13 Millions worldwide. With her song like Complicated, Sk8er Boi, Losing Grip and I'm With You, she managed be made known worldwide. Which, at that point, i dont really like her, yet. I dont like her Gothic image which is kind of gruesome to me but then as the time goes by, i found that she's more pretty than ever and sooner or later, i was hooked by her songs. Not that much though.

In 2006, she released her third album, The Best Damn Thing. The single, 'Girlfriend' managed to climb their way to the the top of Billboard Hot 100. I was shocked and hooked of course. Anyway, you wont see me buying her album neither downloading the her songs that i'd not know about. I like her much more than her songs and she was actually invited/hired to Nickelodeon's 'All That' and also Japan's Music Station. I was amazed and of course mesmerized. She tried her hand on some movie career too. She made her film debut in the animation, Over The Hedge. She was on the front cover of the magazine Seventeen once with her new elegant pretty look of course. It is lucky that my sis read those magazine and i get a glimpse to know that she eats vegis only. In other word, she's a vegetarian.

A picture of Avril Lavigne in Goth.

The new Avril Lavigne which is much much better than the old one.




Source: Wikipedia

Shattered Dream.

At long last, you gave me an answer. Maybe it will be hard for me to accept it now, maybe not. But one thing for sure. I never regretted what i did and what said. I never regretted for sending those letters emails to you. I just dont understand why. Now at least i know that how heartbreaks feel. Now i know why my sis cried when she lost BIL. Now i know but then, i will not cry for i do not regret. Heartbreak yes, sad yes but cry, never. I never knew that heartbreak will makes me oblivious to the surrounding. I really never knew. I nearly killed myself or at least injured myself when walking home. I never knew. I do not know that time passes so fast when your head is searching, thinking and malfunctioning. I really never knew. But now i know. Now i know what it can do. Now i know that no doubt that my love towards you is true.

I told my friends that wanted to forget about you. Forget about the story i made. Forget about the story we made. I tried but i failed. Yes, sometimes i may be a bit scary. Scary as in knowing a lot of things about you although you never told. But one thing, i never ever STALKED you. I never ever followed you. NEVER... Few days ago, i've decided to let it go for i knew my love towards you will never blossoms but i never imagined these words to be said out of your mouth. Again and again i forgive and again and again ignored. Ignoring what you said and forgive for what you did. I know you do avoid me and ignored me but i pretend i do not know. I knew you peep at me sometimes. I do not know why but then now i kinda know. You're afraid that i am looking at you. If i do then so what? There's not a big deal about it. D-Phobia always peeped/looked at me but i prefer to ignore and never looked back. This is the third time you pierced my heart and it's more than enough. Whenever i brought camera, you asked for a look at it. I knew why but again, i pretended i did not. You're afraid i take your pictures but then i did not. It's good to take precaution but then, those words of yours pierced right through my heart.

I never asked Matt to take any pictures of yours. I just lend them and take whatever they want. Am i that desperate? Yes, I got a few pictures of you and FYI, i can just take those pictures from you if i want to but i did not. I do have the intention but i never do it. Again and again my heart was shattered, and again and again i picked up those shattered pieces and plastered it. But then, i think i will need a long long time to fix this. I may be alright tomorrow but every time i see your face, i will remember your words. Every time i listen to passionate songs, i will again remember your words and you. Maybe it's time for me to stop and rest. Waiting, waiting for someone or something to wake me up again. Perhaps you, perhaps someone else.

At least one thing that never fails me. TIME. Chronos/ Cronos Chaos. My best friend that will always accompany me till the day i die. At least time gives me the answer i wanted, although it is in a way that i never imagined.

Aika (Elegy)



As I clung to you, you dug your nails into my back
And carved me, taking me deeper into a dream
One of the fluttering, scattering flower petals
Wavers, wanders, it’s lost its place

Dirty me with your hands, with your hands
Break me again and again, again and again
We put our two sweaty lonelinesses together
And fall into a bright, invisible darkness
If my body’s going to die one day
Then I want it to rot from your love

I’d feel better if this sickness had a name
I’m afraid to stick out, I move into the crowd somehow
One of the fluttering, scattering flower petals
Wavers, wanders, I’ve found you

I’ll dirty you with my hands, with my hands
And drown in you again and again, again and again
Our two backs together gives me anxiety and happiness
That comes in waves, penetrating me
If this love’s going to die someday
Tear me apart now with your love

Dirty me with your hands, with your hands
Break me again and again, again and again
We put our two sweaty lonelinesses together
And fall into a bright, invisible darkness
If my body’s going to die one day
Then I want it to rot from your love
With your hands, dirty me, dirty me

Ghost or no ghost?

A few days ago, me and my classmates were having this ghost hunting session at school. Ter Min, Adrian and Moy believed that the small little room is/was haunted. Moy knew my previous history where i see all these stuffs so they summoned called me to follow them to that place to see if there were anything paranormal. Well, the whole class kinda know about it and a whole bunch of them came along including that hideous Reuben. I went there before which was like 2 years ago. They used to keep books there, old books. And now they have cleared it up. So, i told them there was nothing there because i've been there and nothing weird is in there. But they insisted and so, i too followed.

We went there including me. I wasnt afraid at all at the beginning but as i went further in, my stomach started to push the air in it through my throat. I have this nausea feeling whenever something 'paranormal' is happening is nearby. Skeptically, i calmed myself by telling myself that it's just some filthy ancient air that causes this. But then, as i went further in, my throat got thicker and thicker, filled by airs and i knew that it wasnt the filthy air. There's something wrong. I quickly went out of the room without panicking my mates. I told Sim about it and he just kept quiet while others asked me what i saw. Of course i told them nothing. Today, me and Moy went there again and this time, i took some pictures of it. We were afraid to go in cause beside the room, there is a smaller room which is very scary. Dark without lights and very dirty. Just use your own imaginary to imagine it. The best scene i can make up is the scene from Silent Hill or Resident Evil.

Since we do not dare to go in despite i want to, i asked Daniel to accompany me to go in. He say he do not believe in this stuffs and he just say they are making it up. I told him what i felt and of course, he kept quiet but i knew what he's thinking. He will surely think that i am making up this story too but then, who cares? It's really common for me not to be believed that there are something we cant explain exists. Anyway, we went in and took some pictures :D Glad there's nothing scary in the picture except one.



The small little room without lights. But captures the picture with flash.


Me and Moy dont dare to go in. It seems like someone closed the door. Before that, it's open. On the right is the small little room.


The small little room.

What's in this picture on the upper corner. On top of the speaker? There's a dark shadow thingie...


The room that used to keep books.

Bad Day.

Friday was a bad day. Went to school, sick and not happy at all. Although chatting with Kel and stupid Dan is kinda nice. Dan got scolded by me cause he poured water on me while im resting/sleeping. Went home, eat and bath then on to the computer table. To play game? Nope...to finish up my job. 'Photoshopping' for Mei Yin's friend for a total of 5 bucks. Well, kinda easy to earn that RM 5 since all i need to do is make a design for her friend's 'folio'. Here's the stupid design.



It is suppose to be nicer and better but then, my bad, the name of the company Stella was accidentally changed to Stecca due to that person's bad handwriting. And the worst of all, i saved it in JPEG format instead of PSD, which i need to redo the whole thing again. Actually all i need to do is patch the name Stecca and replace it with Stella but then, she wants a background copy of it PLUS the words PLUS another one with only her name on it. As a result, i have to redo using this maniac keyboard which shut the computer down by itself due to haywire inside the keyboard. RM5 seems to be not enough for all that hard work so, i decided to ask for another RM5. Why? Because it's custom made!!! You cant/wont find any of it in any shop. The one that's available in shops also cost RM1 discluding the words. So, custom made + fussy requests + energy (me and electricity) suppose to be more than RM 5 lol...but since she's my first customer, maybe i will leave it be. Furthermore, i give my design only 5 out of 10 because i found frauds in my own work. Which, i'm too lazy to 'fix'.

I took my nap only at 1630++ which i supposed to be snoozing in my bed 1 hour before. Woke up at 1830++ with stupid Cat booming the music from her room with the stupid Hi-Fi Chris bought. Receive a call from Chris indicating that she will be back home at about 0200 from KL and i have to be the one to wake up and wait for her. I'm suppose to wait and call my mom to fetch her from the bus station but then Cat is out with Jasmine to watch Surf Up and by the time they are done, it will be like 0100++ so, they offered to fetch Chris. It ended up with a call from me to Chris indicating that there's a bus delay and they will be home only at about 0400 or so. So, again i have to be a stupid boy to wait for her till 0400. Im drowsy enough to notice the whole trip accompany mom to fetch Chris. It seems to be a quick drive to me. I dropped my whole body at the sofa once i arrive home. But then, i ended up sleeping at 0500++ due to some disturbance from mom, Chris and Mei Yin(she's not a family member. Just a friend who sleepover during weekends for fun).

Aika (Elegy)

As I clung to you, you dug your nails into my back
And carved me, taking me deeper into a dream

One of the fluttering, scattering flower petals
Wavers, wanders, it’s lost its place

Dirty me with your hands, with your hands
Break me again and again, again and again
We put our two sweaty lonelinesses together
And fall into a bright, invisible darkness, If my body’s going to die one day, Then I want it to rot from your love

I’d feel better if this sickness had a name
I’m afraid to stick out, I move into the crowd somehow
One of the fluttering, scattering flower petals
Wavers, wanders, I’ve found you

I’ll dirty you with my hands, with my hands
And drown in you again and again, again and again
Our two backs together gives me anxiety and happiness
That comes in waves, penetrating me
If this love’s going to die someday
Tear me apart now with your love

Dirty me with your hands, with your hands
Break me again and again, again and again
We put our two sweaty lonelinesses together
And fall into a bright, invisible darkness
If my body’s going to die one day
Then I want it to rot from your love
With your hands, dirty me, dirty me

OMG!!!

My mom actually kept my keyboard and how did i actually manage to type? Well, thx to the 'on screen keyboard'. But i wont be typing on this blog for a long long time d i think. Neway, i saw the smaller 'you' on Gurney the other day. I was eatng @ Chicken Rice Shop and 'you' were sitting on the table next to me. Lol... it makes my imagination goes wild i tell ya. I was happy enough but thn, the real you will be much much more better. Like infinity of times better :D Lol...why am i 'writing' this? As if you know my blog lol. Lazy wanna continue d. These clicking is making me go crazy...

Things got better or worse?

Well, at least this year i have another person to share my feelings with. That's Kelvin. Recently just added to my imaginary buddy list. Not really a buddy though. I have kind of a funny ridiculous history with him but that's not a matter. I hate a few of my classmates very much. And yes, it's hate and not dislike, H A T E. I dare to say that one of them is Aric whom disgraces the name that's synonym to it. In that case it's Eric. He always thought he's the clever type of guy who knows every single thing in this world. Likes to act clever but then, today, i saw him failed. Fail in the sense that he doesnt know how to do Add Math's Permutation and Combination chap. He doesnt know how to do the questions on that chapter and starting to ask his friends about it which he hesitated to ask Vijaya.

Another one of them is Reuben. Same gang with that Aric. Likes to back-stab and criticize others. Always thought he's the Mr. Perfect and stuffs. He used to sit beside me but something happened (i dont know what) and then he changed his place. From time to time, he will criticize me but its best if i just ignore. He's such a two face that he even dare to be so friendly with Kelvin while when Kelvin is not around, backstabbing starts to happen. I really pity Kelvin and i told him that but then what he says really amazed me. He just like totally ignored what i said and told me that he wants to have good friends but then what the outcome was that he joined the negative side. It's his problem anyway. Dont wanna be poking around too much.

Where did i go??

Wow, it's the 2nd week of holiday already and for heaven sake, i am free to do whatever i want right now. What did i do??? Well, some things conflicts to handle settle, being a good boy and help my mom do house chores and babysitting my nephew and cousin (which is kinda fun) and a bit of leisure time for me, myself :D Actually, i wanna post about my holiday at Genting but then, i think i will leave that out since i am kinda lazy :p sweatz... Most of you paranormal non-believers will say i am crazy about what i am about to say but i dont give a damn. It's myself and as long as i know i am sane, it's good enough.

It seems that my whatever abilities is coming back. Well, i like never came across it like for more that a year already and all of the sudden, i am having those déjà vu, seeing all these 'beings' and some well, premonitions. I dont know why but it seems that it just come to me. I am not really freaking out as i have déjà vu like almost every week or sometimes even more that once a day and premonitions too. I started to get back the feeling on the presence of those so called ghost and stuffs. I dont know why this happen to me but it just came to me like that. I dont even know how to control it. Since i am gifted or cursed with these kind of abilities why not train myself on how to use it or whatever? I talked to my mom about that but she never encourage me on anything. Well, she always say the same old thing like, 'dont get yourself into all these things you might get into troubles'. I know that she do this because she wants me to be okay and all sort but then, i really want to use it for the best. I've found some way to like, urm... 'upgrade' my abilities but my mom just doesnt allow me to do it.

The first time those i can see all those ghostly beings was when i am 8 years old. Back in 1998. That is also when i get those déjà vu. Premonitions comes much much later like when i was in form 1, 2003. Though, i am still afraid of ghost although i kinda know how they looked like. I know many of you refuse/dont believe in those paranormal stuffs but then, because you never experienced it before. Many say i am gifted but i will say that i am neither gifted nor cursed. Though sometimes i feel like being cursed. Back to my story, when the first time i saw those 'beings' i told my family and they refused to believe me and since then, i just thought i am hallucinating until form 1. Scout camping. I still remember. I saw a tall tall guy urm...i dont know how to describe the height stand right in the middle of the main door in my school library. After that, i told my parents again since everyone saw what happened to me. Then, my mom bring me to those urm... 'tang kee' or rather the taoist people who can conjure the 'gods' to use their body. I dont really believe in them cause they can either be real or fake but then, i still refuse to believe that they can really conjure a god. From then on, my family members believed me and for some reason, my ability grows stronger.

Well, what happened last year? A girl in our school get possessed and i was somehow involved in it. Something attracted me to help her or some sort. Many people were there. Teachers and students. It was in form six block well which of course happened to a form sixer. After i watch those things, i wanna head back to my class but then, i started to feel like vomiting. Well, at first i dont know why but as i walk further away from the girl, my throat getting tighter and tighter and i feel like vomiting as ever. For some reason, i knew what must be done. I head back to the girl and introduced to her who i am and what i can do and how i can help her. I knew how to do these all by myself. I dont know why. I asked for their permission to go to their house since the 'ghosts' that possessed the girl was from their house. I checked the house and asked them a few questions and i already know what i should do. I dont know where do i get the knowledge from and how the hell i know so much about this ghost stuffs but it just came to my mind.

I even know where those 'beings' is and where they are hiding. I happened to glance at one of their photo album and those pictures are some what different. There is an unknown light coming from those pictures and i asked them what camera they use. And instantly they tell me they used a camera which they found from a temple. Aha! What does a camera signifies? Well, most of you dont know i think. Sometimes, camera are used to capture those ghosts into it. How? I dont have a single idea. I just know. Like now, what i am telling. Maybe most of you will say it's all just craps but never mind. I know and i am satisfied. That's all.

Then, i solved their problem and stuffs. But when my mom knew about it. She was kinda not very happy about what i did. She asked me not to involve much in it and this and that. I dont know what to say anymore. Just hope that one day i can really use those abilities to the fullest.

OMG...just like i've guessed it.

Well, it seems to be true now after i took a few test online to prove that i am really born with psychic power and not some crap. I do see things others dont and predict things others dont. I often have deja vu but then, sigh...many people do not believe in me. Anyway, this is the result i get from tickle.



Renzokuzen, when it comes to psychic abilities, you have an unusually strong talent in the area of Clairvoyance

This means you have an uncanny ability to see things that others can't. Transcending space, your mind is able to see physical objects from a distance, especially when they are particularly relevant to you or someone you know. For instance, you may suddenly get the feeling that there is a major traffic jam down the street from where you're driving and will know to avoid the area and take another route. Or perhaps a friend has lost a valuable piece of jewelry, and you get the sense that it is in their bathroom; later you find out that indeed that is where they found it.

Normally, people with your gift only occasionally have the opportunity to witness that their hunches are correct; however, there are ways you can get a stronger sense of it yourself. The more you understand your ability, the more you will be able to utilize it like a tool that can be applied in many positive ways.

While your strongest psychic talent is Clairvoyance, Tickle also analyzed your psychic strengths in:

* Retrocognition: The ability to know what happened in the past.
* Precognition: The ability to know what will happen in the future.
* Remote viewing: The ability to see physical objects at a distance.
* Telepathy: The ability to tune into others' thoughts.

It means that i am not scaring myself and i do!!! Oh my gawd...

By the way,

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture. From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

What Language Should You Learn?

It's so damn true!!!!

I am sorry.

Well, since i am here i might just do something. First of all, to all the RO crazed fans, please come and join us in here. Well, i've been in this server like less than 2 weeks and i've found that they have a nice community and a friendly one too :D Well of course there are some jerks who would use their super skill and kill the noobs. Come and join us :D

On the other hand, well, i just want to say i am sorry. I don't know if you know my blog or anything but i just hope that you saw what i am about to write type. I do notice about what you do. I even know that sometimes you look at me or so. But, three times is more than enough. I still can take it but then, not my soul. I want a confirmation from you. I do not want to be a stupid person and let the world know who i am again. "Maybe all of this is just my illusion or i am just thinking too much". That is what i always tell myself. What you did forced me to pause, stop and look. You dont see i walk right to you and talk to you because i am afraid that you want to avoid me. I do not want this to happen. Like i said before, i still can withstand it but i do not know until when. I still love you and i really do. Not like but love.


"Renzokuzen William likes rainbows". What does that means? Does it signifies anything? What is "William I Laou You". That's what i've heard last year but then, i just pretend to be stupid and ignores it. Why? Because i've eaten all my own guts to give the three proposal to you. I left all my dignity behind just to think that something will change. Maybe i am just not mature enough to think positively. I do not know. I just want an answer. A definite answer with no excuses. 3 times. I still remember what you said the second time. Yes, again i will tell you. Maybe we can only meet in certain place and we dont have time. You still want to study. Yes. I know all that. But, i can wait. I've waited for more than a year. Why not more? It wont hurt me at all. Because i know you're there waiting for me and i am here waiting for you. If you really want to concentrate on study first, fine with me. I will always be there and support you but please, just tell me how you feel.

I am sorry and i hope that "We Belong Together"'s lyric will tell you everything. I love you.