Illusion; Life is just a dream: I MISS BABY GIRL!!!

A few months back, my aunt asked my mom to babysit my baby girl cause her nanny's husband had a stroke or something therefore, unableto take care of her nemore. So, there she is, being so cheerful and all. Other than Darren Boy, she's the dearest baby i ever loved. I had a newphew, Ryan, but i dont really like him. One is that, he has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) or so i thought he has cause he cannot sit still even for one second. Other than that, he isnt cute anymore. He's 6 years old and well, i only like little kids. No, im not Michael Jackson. I just find them adorable and like urm...little angels.

Okay, out of the sudden, i recieved a call from my aunt telling me to pack up baby girl's stuff. So, of course I asked why and she told me SHE IS GOING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For a simple reason, my mom has chicken pox and unable to take care of her for a week or so. Officially, she should be going back at the beginning of October because my cousin is gonna urm what they call???? born soon? Wateva it is, my mom will be the one doing the urm? i forgot the word...just call it after birth...for my cousin. But then, sigh...out of sudden, she's going back without prior notice...

I loooooooooooove her very much just like how i love Darren Boy. During the night, she wont let others hold her or anything except me and my mom. Well, that's an example how much i love her. Because, i take care of her most of the time, with my mom of course. Pamper her, take her for walks and all other than that, I EVEN TEACH HER HOW TO STAND AND WALK!!! Frankly speaking, i miss her very much. Even now, im typing/writing, im actually weeping...Yes, man do cry...and no, i dont care if u think this is girlish...anyway, i really miss her... It's been quite like a habit for me to see her everyday, saying bye and kissing her before i go to college and all. But now, i will only have to do that in my heart. Damn...i am so crying... I cannot express how much i miss her...

Of course i will see her every often or so but, i wont be able to be by her side the whole day anymore. She will be alone with the new nanny and i really hope that the new nanny treat her good... I hope the nanny will pamper her and love her as much as we do... I really hope the best for her... She's my angel and she's the second baby i ever hold and watch as they grow. Darren Boy is the first and she's the second. So, sigh...i really miss her...very much. Im wondering, when will i be able to have babies and be a father or something. I really like kids very much...

Last but not least, im wondering how many times i said, "I miss her". I'll leave that till the next time i reread this entry :D