Yet another problem with the pictures....i always have to resize the pic...but well, i'll make exception to this entry....too many pictures and im lazy to read those XML codes...
Confession Booth
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."
Facts That Makes You LOL!1. You can name all the players from the the English Premier League, but ask you to name one football player from Malaysia , one name also cannot come out.
2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain
Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.
3. When toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.
4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE , run from one end of 1Utama to the other also NO COMPLAINTS.
5. You always talk about where to find the best Hokkien mee or another makan when you meet each other.
6. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.
7. You have a parent who force you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.
8. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to a American / British / Australian.
9. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.
10. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queueing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.
11.When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.
12. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.
13. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.
14. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very Clever, hor?' When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!'
15. When an angmoh stranger kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him.............Yeah!
Ah Beng
Sorry if this oredi existed. I checked previous pages, but couldn't find it.
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
============ ========= ========= ======
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM
Seen this joke quite some time ago but it's actually nice to actually see/read it again...
Hum Little Johnny-look carefully & visualize at the last picture
It was Friday morning, and that meant it was time for an activity that the teacher called 'add to the picture'. The teacher would
call students to the chalkboard one at a time. The first student would draw an object on the chalkboard, and each following
student would add something to the picture to make it a new picture.
The teacher called on James to start things off.
James returned to his seat.
The teacher called on Ernie next.
Ernie returned to his seat.
Now it was Suzy's turn.
Suzy returned to her seat.
Next, the teacher called Jerry to the board.
Jerry returned to his seat.Kim was called to the board.
Kim returned to her seat.
About this time, little Johnny began waving his arm hysterically. Little Johnny was well known for being off center, so the teacher was reluctant to call on him for anything. But as the teacher looked at the picture on the chalkboard, she thought that there was no way that little Johnny could possibly do anything to make this picture dirty. So she called on little Johnny, and he ran
to the chalkboard..
The entire class erupted with laughter... the teacher fainted.
Little Johnny had done it again.Toilet Signs
The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,
a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel , who pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality. !
So think carefully and try and answer within 30 seconds
Got your answer?
Now scroll down to see the analysis.
If your answer is:
Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're a moron.
Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
I actually what the helled when i saw the answer of which i chose, Squirrel and when i read further down, i laughed...
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