Independent

You know what? Actually i already have plan for myself this semester break. I will most probably be working but not in Starbucks neither one of such coffee shop or whatever you call. I won't be working in Shopping Malls or boutiques either. Instead, i WILL or rather WANT to work in hotel line. I wanted to learn how to talk and such and i've already have help from a friend of mine to find a job for me. It will be in Melaka and i planned to stay there for my sem break. Other than a chance to earn money, i will be able to test my ability to survive without family members around to take care of me or such.

I wanted to see how far i can go and how can i behave myself with parents not around. Of course i will most probably go wild but, how wild??? I dont think i'll go to bars, lounges or disco though. Maybe just hang around with friends till late at night or such. My plan was going smoothly as i prepared to get all details and confirmation about where i am going to stay, what job i'll be doing and such but UNFORTUNATELY, wretched father find a job for me WITHOUT INFORMING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! Okay i thought fine, i'll just ignore and one of the reason why i wanted confirmation about everything before i burst to my parents is because if i were to tell them now, there will be loopholes as in unanswered questions. I've to be ready and 'sell' them what i wanted to do in one go so that less objection occurs.

Mom was the one who told me that father found a job for me and wanted me to go for interview. It's a job from his client where i'll be sort of like a salesperson or such selling GHEE HIANG BISCUITS!!!! WHAT THE FUCK! Learn what la? Learn sell biscuits is it??? HELL NO! I'd prefer to work in Starbucks or Coffee Bean rather than that chinese biscuit shop! The pay is RM5 per hour where i'll be working for 8 hours per day. Weekends only but still, NO WAY!!! Seriously, I DONT WANT TO WORK THERE!!! Father is always like that and i am so frustrated with him...make decisions for me without informing me. HOW OLD AM I!!!???? 9 years old or 19 years old!? If i cant even make decisions at this age, then what am i for???

Nevertheless, i've got no choice but to tell mom my current plan and as expected, she said no and such. I told her i wanted to try and be independent and learn about socializing and such but as usual, SHE NEVER EVER SUPPORTED IN WHATEVER I DO!!! (except education-related stuff). SHE IS ALWAYS SO DISCOURAGING, SO IS MY FAMILY!!! I HATE THEM TREATING ME THIS WAY! I AM NOT A KID! I AM 19 YEARS OLD AND I WANT TO BE INDEPEDENT!!! I'd dare to say that im much better than many teens. Why? I dont spend, i dont go clubbing, i dont smoke, i dont drink, i dont go out often. All i ask for is INDEPENDENT AND KNOWLEDGE ABOUT BUSINESS AND SOCIALIZING! IS THIS TOO MUCH!? True i'll be away from home but sooner or later, i too will have to be away from home, no?

When i told mom i wanna learn Japanese language, she said "NO". I wanna learn dancing, "NO". I wanna learn singing, "NO". And now, I WANNA LEARN TO BE INDEPENDENT and what she said???? " NO NO NO NO NO!!!" If i am someone who doesnt have such flexibility or ability to handle such decisions, then what am i for? A puppet who were born to say "YES YES YES" and "YES"??? Another friend of mine, told me that his late-father's company is sort of like in crisis and his late-father's urm...partner seeks him for help. So, i told him wanna be a part of it too and he sort of agree and all that. His company will have an exhibition in KL this 1st of March until 9th of March. Unfortunately, i've exam until 3rd of March, so if i were to go, i'll only be able to go after my exam. I told my mom that too and again, she said NO NO NO NO NO!! What is wrong with that!? I AM NOT GOING KL TO FOOL AROUND OR SUCH! I AM GOING THERE TO WORK, TO GAIN EXPERIENCE IN BUSINESS! WHAT THE FUCK HELL WRONG IS THAT!?

She insist that even if i were to plan everything properly, she wont let me go! WHY!???? Because it's dangerous that i am alone??? THAT'S THE POINT, MA! I AM GOING THERE TO TEST MY ABILITY TO SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU GUYS! IS THAT TOO MUCH!? I will take care of myself properly and i've friends in KL! It's just that you guys dont trust me! YOU GUYS REFUSE TO LET ME MAKE MY OWN MAJOR DECISIONS!!! I AM 19 MA!!! NOT 9!!! I AM NOT YOUNG!