Bad Day.

Friday was a bad day. Went to school, sick and not happy at all. Although chatting with Kel and stupid Dan is kinda nice. Dan got scolded by me cause he poured water on me while im resting/sleeping. Went home, eat and bath then on to the computer table. To play game? Nope...to finish up my job. 'Photoshopping' for Mei Yin's friend for a total of 5 bucks. Well, kinda easy to earn that RM 5 since all i need to do is make a design for her friend's 'folio'. Here's the stupid design.



It is suppose to be nicer and better but then, my bad, the name of the company Stella was accidentally changed to Stecca due to that person's bad handwriting. And the worst of all, i saved it in JPEG format instead of PSD, which i need to redo the whole thing again. Actually all i need to do is patch the name Stecca and replace it with Stella but then, she wants a background copy of it PLUS the words PLUS another one with only her name on it. As a result, i have to redo using this maniac keyboard which shut the computer down by itself due to haywire inside the keyboard. RM5 seems to be not enough for all that hard work so, i decided to ask for another RM5. Why? Because it's custom made!!! You cant/wont find any of it in any shop. The one that's available in shops also cost RM1 discluding the words. So, custom made + fussy requests + energy (me and electricity) suppose to be more than RM 5 lol...but since she's my first customer, maybe i will leave it be. Furthermore, i give my design only 5 out of 10 because i found frauds in my own work. Which, i'm too lazy to 'fix'.

I took my nap only at 1630++ which i supposed to be snoozing in my bed 1 hour before. Woke up at 1830++ with stupid Cat booming the music from her room with the stupid Hi-Fi Chris bought. Receive a call from Chris indicating that she will be back home at about 0200 from KL and i have to be the one to wake up and wait for her. I'm suppose to wait and call my mom to fetch her from the bus station but then Cat is out with Jasmine to watch Surf Up and by the time they are done, it will be like 0100++ so, they offered to fetch Chris. It ended up with a call from me to Chris indicating that there's a bus delay and they will be home only at about 0400 or so. So, again i have to be a stupid boy to wait for her till 0400. Im drowsy enough to notice the whole trip accompany mom to fetch Chris. It seems to be a quick drive to me. I dropped my whole body at the sofa once i arrive home. But then, i ended up sleeping at 0500++ due to some disturbance from mom, Chris and Mei Yin(she's not a family member. Just a friend who sleepover during weekends for fun).

Aika (Elegy)

As I clung to you, you dug your nails into my back
And carved me, taking me deeper into a dream

One of the fluttering, scattering flower petals
Wavers, wanders, it’s lost its place

Dirty me with your hands, with your hands
Break me again and again, again and again
We put our two sweaty lonelinesses together
And fall into a bright, invisible darkness, If my body’s going to die one day, Then I want it to rot from your love

I’d feel better if this sickness had a name
I’m afraid to stick out, I move into the crowd somehow
One of the fluttering, scattering flower petals
Wavers, wanders, I’ve found you

I’ll dirty you with my hands, with my hands
And drown in you again and again, again and again
Our two backs together gives me anxiety and happiness
That comes in waves, penetrating me
If this love’s going to die someday
Tear me apart now with your love

Dirty me with your hands, with your hands
Break me again and again, again and again
We put our two sweaty lonelinesses together
And fall into a bright, invisible darkness
If my body’s going to die one day
Then I want it to rot from your love
With your hands, dirty me, dirty me

OMG!!!

My mom actually kept my keyboard and how did i actually manage to type? Well, thx to the 'on screen keyboard'. But i wont be typing on this blog for a long long time d i think. Neway, i saw the smaller 'you' on Gurney the other day. I was eatng @ Chicken Rice Shop and 'you' were sitting on the table next to me. Lol... it makes my imagination goes wild i tell ya. I was happy enough but thn, the real you will be much much more better. Like infinity of times better :D Lol...why am i 'writing' this? As if you know my blog lol. Lazy wanna continue d. These clicking is making me go crazy...

Things got better or worse?

Well, at least this year i have another person to share my feelings with. That's Kelvin. Recently just added to my imaginary buddy list. Not really a buddy though. I have kind of a funny ridiculous history with him but that's not a matter. I hate a few of my classmates very much. And yes, it's hate and not dislike, H A T E. I dare to say that one of them is Aric whom disgraces the name that's synonym to it. In that case it's Eric. He always thought he's the clever type of guy who knows every single thing in this world. Likes to act clever but then, today, i saw him failed. Fail in the sense that he doesnt know how to do Add Math's Permutation and Combination chap. He doesnt know how to do the questions on that chapter and starting to ask his friends about it which he hesitated to ask Vijaya.

Another one of them is Reuben. Same gang with that Aric. Likes to back-stab and criticize others. Always thought he's the Mr. Perfect and stuffs. He used to sit beside me but something happened (i dont know what) and then he changed his place. From time to time, he will criticize me but its best if i just ignore. He's such a two face that he even dare to be so friendly with Kelvin while when Kelvin is not around, backstabbing starts to happen. I really pity Kelvin and i told him that but then what he says really amazed me. He just like totally ignored what i said and told me that he wants to have good friends but then what the outcome was that he joined the negative side. It's his problem anyway. Dont wanna be poking around too much.

Where did i go??

Wow, it's the 2nd week of holiday already and for heaven sake, i am free to do whatever i want right now. What did i do??? Well, some things conflicts to handle settle, being a good boy and help my mom do house chores and babysitting my nephew and cousin (which is kinda fun) and a bit of leisure time for me, myself :D Actually, i wanna post about my holiday at Genting but then, i think i will leave that out since i am kinda lazy :p sweatz... Most of you paranormal non-believers will say i am crazy about what i am about to say but i dont give a damn. It's myself and as long as i know i am sane, it's good enough.

It seems that my whatever abilities is coming back. Well, i like never came across it like for more that a year already and all of the sudden, i am having those déjà vu, seeing all these 'beings' and some well, premonitions. I dont know why but it seems that it just come to me. I am not really freaking out as i have déjà vu like almost every week or sometimes even more that once a day and premonitions too. I started to get back the feeling on the presence of those so called ghost and stuffs. I dont know why this happen to me but it just came to me like that. I dont even know how to control it. Since i am gifted or cursed with these kind of abilities why not train myself on how to use it or whatever? I talked to my mom about that but she never encourage me on anything. Well, she always say the same old thing like, 'dont get yourself into all these things you might get into troubles'. I know that she do this because she wants me to be okay and all sort but then, i really want to use it for the best. I've found some way to like, urm... 'upgrade' my abilities but my mom just doesnt allow me to do it.

The first time those i can see all those ghostly beings was when i am 8 years old. Back in 1998. That is also when i get those déjà vu. Premonitions comes much much later like when i was in form 1, 2003. Though, i am still afraid of ghost although i kinda know how they looked like. I know many of you refuse/dont believe in those paranormal stuffs but then, because you never experienced it before. Many say i am gifted but i will say that i am neither gifted nor cursed. Though sometimes i feel like being cursed. Back to my story, when the first time i saw those 'beings' i told my family and they refused to believe me and since then, i just thought i am hallucinating until form 1. Scout camping. I still remember. I saw a tall tall guy urm...i dont know how to describe the height stand right in the middle of the main door in my school library. After that, i told my parents again since everyone saw what happened to me. Then, my mom bring me to those urm... 'tang kee' or rather the taoist people who can conjure the 'gods' to use their body. I dont really believe in them cause they can either be real or fake but then, i still refuse to believe that they can really conjure a god. From then on, my family members believed me and for some reason, my ability grows stronger.

Well, what happened last year? A girl in our school get possessed and i was somehow involved in it. Something attracted me to help her or some sort. Many people were there. Teachers and students. It was in form six block well which of course happened to a form sixer. After i watch those things, i wanna head back to my class but then, i started to feel like vomiting. Well, at first i dont know why but as i walk further away from the girl, my throat getting tighter and tighter and i feel like vomiting as ever. For some reason, i knew what must be done. I head back to the girl and introduced to her who i am and what i can do and how i can help her. I knew how to do these all by myself. I dont know why. I asked for their permission to go to their house since the 'ghosts' that possessed the girl was from their house. I checked the house and asked them a few questions and i already know what i should do. I dont know where do i get the knowledge from and how the hell i know so much about this ghost stuffs but it just came to my mind.

I even know where those 'beings' is and where they are hiding. I happened to glance at one of their photo album and those pictures are some what different. There is an unknown light coming from those pictures and i asked them what camera they use. And instantly they tell me they used a camera which they found from a temple. Aha! What does a camera signifies? Well, most of you dont know i think. Sometimes, camera are used to capture those ghosts into it. How? I dont have a single idea. I just know. Like now, what i am telling. Maybe most of you will say it's all just craps but never mind. I know and i am satisfied. That's all.

Then, i solved their problem and stuffs. But when my mom knew about it. She was kinda not very happy about what i did. She asked me not to involve much in it and this and that. I dont know what to say anymore. Just hope that one day i can really use those abilities to the fullest.

OMG...just like i've guessed it.

Well, it seems to be true now after i took a few test online to prove that i am really born with psychic power and not some crap. I do see things others dont and predict things others dont. I often have deja vu but then, sigh...many people do not believe in me. Anyway, this is the result i get from tickle.



Renzokuzen, when it comes to psychic abilities, you have an unusually strong talent in the area of Clairvoyance

This means you have an uncanny ability to see things that others can't. Transcending space, your mind is able to see physical objects from a distance, especially when they are particularly relevant to you or someone you know. For instance, you may suddenly get the feeling that there is a major traffic jam down the street from where you're driving and will know to avoid the area and take another route. Or perhaps a friend has lost a valuable piece of jewelry, and you get the sense that it is in their bathroom; later you find out that indeed that is where they found it.

Normally, people with your gift only occasionally have the opportunity to witness that their hunches are correct; however, there are ways you can get a stronger sense of it yourself. The more you understand your ability, the more you will be able to utilize it like a tool that can be applied in many positive ways.

While your strongest psychic talent is Clairvoyance, Tickle also analyzed your psychic strengths in:

* Retrocognition: The ability to know what happened in the past.
* Precognition: The ability to know what will happen in the future.
* Remote viewing: The ability to see physical objects at a distance.
* Telepathy: The ability to tune into others' thoughts.

It means that i am not scaring myself and i do!!! Oh my gawd...

By the way,

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture. From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

What Language Should You Learn?

It's so damn true!!!!

I am sorry.

Well, since i am here i might just do something. First of all, to all the RO crazed fans, please come and join us in here. Well, i've been in this server like less than 2 weeks and i've found that they have a nice community and a friendly one too :D Well of course there are some jerks who would use their super skill and kill the noobs. Come and join us :D

On the other hand, well, i just want to say i am sorry. I don't know if you know my blog or anything but i just hope that you saw what i am about to write type. I do notice about what you do. I even know that sometimes you look at me or so. But, three times is more than enough. I still can take it but then, not my soul. I want a confirmation from you. I do not want to be a stupid person and let the world know who i am again. "Maybe all of this is just my illusion or i am just thinking too much". That is what i always tell myself. What you did forced me to pause, stop and look. You dont see i walk right to you and talk to you because i am afraid that you want to avoid me. I do not want this to happen. Like i said before, i still can withstand it but i do not know until when. I still love you and i really do. Not like but love.


"Renzokuzen William likes rainbows". What does that means? Does it signifies anything? What is "William I Laou You". That's what i've heard last year but then, i just pretend to be stupid and ignores it. Why? Because i've eaten all my own guts to give the three proposal to you. I left all my dignity behind just to think that something will change. Maybe i am just not mature enough to think positively. I do not know. I just want an answer. A definite answer with no excuses. 3 times. I still remember what you said the second time. Yes, again i will tell you. Maybe we can only meet in certain place and we dont have time. You still want to study. Yes. I know all that. But, i can wait. I've waited for more than a year. Why not more? It wont hurt me at all. Because i know you're there waiting for me and i am here waiting for you. If you really want to concentrate on study first, fine with me. I will always be there and support you but please, just tell me how you feel.

I am sorry and i hope that "We Belong Together"'s lyric will tell you everything. I love you.