An old beginning, a new end...

I know, I know, the title doesnt makes sense but then again, most of the things i wrote doesn't makes sense, if you read it plainly of course :P

Anyway, sigh...I can't believe this person actually manage to makes me write a post for him after abandoning my blog for such a looooong time. He is non other than my official godbro, Albin. Well, he is leaving me us back to his kampung to tanam jagung for good. But knowing him, i'd wager that he already have plan(s) for his future (as usual) just that he refuses to tell me. I see no point in pestering him for his plan(s) though. So basically, this post is all about him.

Some intro about him is that he is 5 years older than me (I think) and he's much much much much much much much much MOOOREE smarter, experienced and intelligent than me. That's one of most important things why I respect him so much. Secondly, he's very very humble even though he's young but poor and...I really like it despite the fact that it gets annoying sometimes with the mysteries going on around him. Oh what the heck, if he wanna tell then i'll be ready to listen or else, he can keep it to himself (even though curiousity kills the cat and i cant help but pester him sometimes).

A funny fact when I met him is that, i actually dislikes him due to certain circumstances at that time and his facebook profile picture just makes him urm...."hate-able" unlikable (thankfully that profile pic is gone!). As time passes by, we get to know each other more and more and I found that we've quite some common interests and tada! relationship grows. *BROMANCE*


Knowing that he's leaving really impacts me because well, i finally found someone whom im able to open up and talk to but in the end, he've gotta leave :( Some of you might say "You still got other friends of yours" or "You've got your other half" or "Hey, i'm here, you can talk to me too" but you must know, IT'S JUST DIFFERENT! It's just like how you can talk alot to your mom but not your dad! (Well, at least that's the case for me) Okay, got tired of this useless explanation...moving on~~ Let's just say that we have the same channel/frequency (or at least that's my part).

Not to say that i have psychic power or what but well, he can read my body language as well as i can read his. I know what he wants and he just know what i wanted even though mostly I pretend not to know since sometimes, it's better to pretend not to know than to know *hmm tongue twister?* that does not happen all the time. At the end of the days between me and him (this sentence sounds so wrong), we talked about my urm..problem in McD *winks* and i really appreciate that talk.

He opens up to me so much that night (i mean midnight) just like how much i had opened up to him. So thankful for that talk cause i just like people telling me stuff, it makes me comfortable just like how my another good bro, Shawnie Prawnie tells me about his stuff before. Call me busybody or whatever, I dont care. Furthermore, he reminds me of a feeling I have not feel for a very very looong time since H.K. (I dont know what this feeling is called) where we talk about anything and everything.

Sigh...im just very very sad that he's leaving and my fun talkative time is no longer available. Just to clear the air, the reason I like to talk to him is because whatever i talked to him, he'll respond to me in a very fun way rather than repetitive responses like "Oh! Is it?", "Haha...", "Like that hor.." etc. So, in a way, our conversation is never dull or boring (to me). *NOTE: i know this sentence's grammar is wrong*

So, to sum things up, what did he taught me?

1. To change my atitude from I-AM-WHO-I-AM-AND-I-WONT-CHANGE into I-AM-WHO-I-AM-BUT-I-WILL-FIX-MY-SOME-OF-MY-WORST-ATITUDES kind of person. Okay it's confusing...basically, he (and SOMEONE else) advised me that i should accept criticisms and changes for the better in certain things instead of sticking to my old self but in the same time, to maintain my old self. Okay..it's still confusing but ahhh... heck cares...nobody reads my blog. An extra note is that, I can listen to him better cause the method of approach he used to tell me stuff is more friendly and loving...aww...you'll be a very good father in the future Gor.

2. Politics are the most important thing in working life. Even though i'd already know this fact, but still, he relates his experiences to me. In a way, I learns to agree to disagree (SOMEONE else taught me this too but well, it's another case :P) **Pls dont get jealous if you reads this**

3. Some fun facts like what's goin on around the world, who's the real richest guy in SOME place, what branded stuff not worth buying, cars, people and so on. I looove general knowledge (even though it might not be useful but at least, it's good to know).

4. That not all poor people are selfish or useless. I have this thought cause suffice to say that certain poor parties made me think so hence i just stereotyped them.

5. That it's really really important to appreciate people around you all the time before they're gone. Actually, he just proves that what im doing all these while is correct and worth it. I appreciates everyone and everything around me or at least i do my best to.

6. That it is still really painful to know someone you deared so much to leave you but you must learn grow up and learn to leave things behind.

Experience 1 - I cried until i puke when my grandma passed away when i was 11 y.o.

Experience 2 - I cried nonstop and keep holding my grandpa's hand when he died and refused to stand up from kneeling down on the day his body was pushed into the fire to be turned into ashes.

This is the third (my favourite number) SEPERATION (i repeat, it's SEPERATION so don't think i mixed you up with dead people. I never think of my gramps as dead anyway, i always thought of it as a temporal seperation in human life) i ever had with someone whom i really really loves and the first time ever i manage to hold back my tears so well. Of course the moment he told me that he's leaving, my shoulder slumped and there was a lump in my throat but since it's public place, i have no choice but to swallow it back and let it out when im home XD


Okay, i think i should stop here already since this post is so length-y already. Last but not least, Ah Gor, stay healthy, stay funny and stay wickedy okay :) I don't know why i said this but, be true to yourself okay? Figure out what my last sentence meant by yourself and... I LOVE YOU bro.

Albin

What comes must always go,

That's how the story roll,

Even though it had taken such a toll,

I have no choice but to let it flow.

Memories will be my keepsake,

At least i know it is not fake,

Remember shall I on what was said,

Same goes to the things that we made.

Gor Gor Willie calls,

Some heavy rain is dropping as autumn falls,

Sometimes, i wished myself was a doll,

Free from emotions and thoughts like an empty hall.

Life of a person is full of curve,

Writing this poem is getting on my nerve,

Cause it's so hard to find a sentence which matches with loves,   

And lastly,

Gor, i will always remember you with full of loves.
(This last stanza sucks btw)

P/S: One thing i dont like about you is that you're evil. Threatening me on every single thing that i refused to tell you or do. even though i like it *masochist*

PP/S: I would like to see you cry in front of me so that i can cry with you for one last time. I love seeing people cry so that i can be the man to comfort the other. (Yes i am weird)

Prophecy

I've had trouble handling my gift...or rather, i do not know how to control my gift. As far as i can remember, it had all started at the age of 8 with me catching a glimpse of the afterlife of my cousin's uncle. Like people and everything around us, my gift develops. From being able to see the afterlife-s to feeling what they're feeling to mental communication and deja vu at a very high rate of occurrence. Then, seeing solid forms of them instead of spiritual form and then as i grow, i discovered more of my abilities. I thought that it would stop at the I-can-see-ghost point but no.

Now, from deja vu to premonitions. I know that i will be in a bad accident in the future but when will be a very good question. Where? Right at the junction of Union High School. Ever watched Final Destination? The movie starts with one of the actor getting a premonition and stuff like that right? Well, i get that too and the worse of all, i feel the fear and the pain and i just woke up. Like how it happened to the actor, the scene goes on for like, 5 minutes or so but in reality, it only happened in a split second or a few. Yes, some of you might think that "Oh! You just watch too much movie" but sadly, no. Producers and most of the time, people who performs art in any form, musicians, novelist, artists and whatever else you can think of, has a special ability which they do not know of themselves. They get ideas from the beings on top (no, im not talking about gods) and i will not explain what those beings are.

And then, from premonitions to now, prophecies. What i prophesied is very simple and very frustrating.

Premonitions, Chris, Volcano, Earthquake, Universe

What are these? Do not ask me cause i dont know myself. I've gone through the first phase; Premonitions. I 'dreamed' about the future or rather my consciousness floats somewhere between the Earth realm and the realm beyond. I received messages from the beings above. What are those? Weird stuff i might say. First thing I saw was an arrow of sort. It's hard to be described and basically, it's not a normal arrow. Secondly, i saw a vial. Ever played starcraft? One of the stages of Protoss's. You need to rescue one of your ally from a vial thingie...I saw something like that. I too saw a spaceship of some sort. Not the normal UFO kind of thing but more or less, it is so.

Back then, the nights before i received these, i was unable to sleep well. No matter what time i slept, i will wake up at 4AM SHARP. I tried sleeping at 2AM even and still, i woke up at 4AM SHARP! I feel totally refreshed and not tired for the whole day. I got really frustrated cause i know this is not normal. You might argue that it's my biological clock is doing the trick and stuff but hell no i tell you. Believe or not, it's up to you.

Okay, enough about premonitions. Now, i am currently ongoing phase two; Chris. What's with Chris? I have no idea but i do now. I do not know why does premonitions links to Chris till now but at least i know what is going to happen. More or less. She is not herself and will not be for a period of time. Lately, my worst fear was confirmed. Thankfully, to confirm my truth, i'd told mother everything before it happened. Now even if nobody in the world believes me, mother WILL believe. Today, there had been an argument about her with the whole family. It had gone for days now and my family too feels that there's something wrong with her. Oh damn! What are all these riddles about? What crap am i writing!?

Whatever it is, since this is my blog, i will write whatever i knows about. That's all i can say. I had been furious with her a couple of times and thankfully, i was reminded that this is all according to the prophecy. What i do know is that IF, mother and father pushes her and argues with her, she will somehow leave. Leave the house? Leave for the afterlife? I do not know! I advised mother not to scold or yell at her and just let her be for the moment. Thankfully, mother heed my advice. I had given her the task to explain it to father and i hope that he believes in what was said.

Depression is going into me again just like what had happened when the first phase started. No matter what happens, will try my best to persevere! I do not believe in destiny but i believe that i had such abilities for a reason. I never wanted to get rid of my abilities but from time to time, i will hate or dislike them. If my duty is to observe and record, then so be it!

I just hope that i can do something about it...sighh...

FUCK!

DAMN! I seriously want to get out of my house right this instant! What the hell is wrong with everybody? Why do they want to intrude my privacy? I came to facebook for fun and do my own thing and live my own life but now...they're treating as if facebook is a place where they can poke into everybody's business! WHAT THE HELL!!!??? In real life, there's this thing called privacy line! IT TOO EXISTS ON VIRTUAL WORLD!!! HEEYYY!!! AMATEURS!!! PLEASE DO KNOW THAT PRIVACY LINE TOO EXISTS ON FACEBOOK AND ALL THE VIRTUAL WORLD!!!

Urge

All of sudden, I've the feel to blog...but don't know what should i blog about haha!!! So many things i can talk about actually but dont really feel like it haha!! Exam's on monday and tonight, im gonna prepare my own notes after doing downstairs for postponed pot luck gathering with neighbors. Then, one round of dota and HELLO BORING see asshole CSO.

Bored

Im class right now...kinda tired and all. Long time no blog kekeke... many things happened of course but lazy wanna post anything. Kinda worried bout my final year project. Seeing Liang n Hoong going crazy, i also feel like going crazy. It's kinda weird. I am taking Basic Discrete Maths and Computer System Organization of Mr.Kevin's. The weird thing is that i can do well in BDM but not CSO. CSO is kinda theory base and lol...i kinda sucks in theory...which is weird...

I can do questions in BDM easily although they're maths...weird huh...never ever happen before. Binaries in CSO is making me crazy though...

I like this pic of myself :P Syok sendiri MWAHAHAHA!!!

Optical Illusions

I got all of these from Yahoo! Love all these so much!!!

Wormhole

The black and white circular lines make this illusion seem as if there are various depths in the image, creating different entryways and tunnels

Waves

The blue almond-shaped objects look as if they’re all passing over three separate columns.

Starbursts

These bright purple and green star-like shapes appear to be moving, which can be a little nauseating if you stare at it for too long.

Pulsing Vortex

If you stare at this one long enough you’ll notice a fast and pulsing multicolored vortex.

Kaleidescope

A collection of black, blue, green and white shapes appears to be five different kaleidoscope-type figures—each swirling toward their centers.

Hypnosis

Although this image is comprised of simple purple and green squares outlined in black, it looks like it is bulging out in the center.

Flowing Leaves

The brown leaf shapes against a green background make this look as if the entire group is flowing—making waves if you focus on the picture as a whole.

Bull's Eye

If you stare at the center of the image, it looks as if the outer rings are rotating in alternating directions—an effect meant to mesmerize the viewer.

Selfish

Is this really what i should start learning? One by one, people around me showed their selfishness. One by one, made me sad. One by one, made me feel like wanna die. One by one, just turns my world becomes gray. When will this end? I feel like crying...I know my heart is crying but there doesnt seem to be any tears dripping down my eyes. What is wrong? Every single time i think that there're others who're in the worse situation than i am, i brightened myself. How long can i keep lying to myself that i should stop helping others so that i do not end up hurting myself? How many times before i could learn that people are selfish? How many times should i cover myself from the fact that people leave after they obtained what they want from you?

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I GO THROUGH THIS BEFORE I LEARN MY LESSON???

JUST HOW MANY!???

Is it really a human's nature to get what they want and leave? How much pain do I have to suffer? I am gifted with the ability to know what I shouldnt know and to everyone, it is cool...to YOU it is cool but to me, it isn't! I'll bringing problems to myself. How much longer until I can control and ignore those things which I know unconciously? How much longer should I suffer before it drives me crazy? I'm just...speechless...you dissapoints me...mysteries bring fourth upon me...