Selfish

Is this really what i should start learning? One by one, people around me showed their selfishness. One by one, made me sad. One by one, made me feel like wanna die. One by one, just turns my world becomes gray. When will this end? I feel like crying...I know my heart is crying but there doesnt seem to be any tears dripping down my eyes. What is wrong? Every single time i think that there're others who're in the worse situation than i am, i brightened myself. How long can i keep lying to myself that i should stop helping others so that i do not end up hurting myself? How many times before i could learn that people are selfish? How many times should i cover myself from the fact that people leave after they obtained what they want from you?

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I GO THROUGH THIS BEFORE I LEARN MY LESSON???

JUST HOW MANY!???

Is it really a human's nature to get what they want and leave? How much pain do I have to suffer? I am gifted with the ability to know what I shouldnt know and to everyone, it is cool...to YOU it is cool but to me, it isn't! I'll bringing problems to myself. How much longer until I can control and ignore those things which I know unconciously? How much longer should I suffer before it drives me crazy? I'm just...speechless...you dissapoints me...mysteries bring fourth upon me...