Out of Home

Wow...it's been years since i actually came to cyber cafe. Maybe hmm...more than 5 years or so. Haha....eh wait...maybe 3 years or so. XD Forgot already. Why am i here today in such an early morning... Something happened at home. I got fed up with my family so i run out just to have some time for myself. I do not want to have those negative-feeling-aura/environment around me. So i came here to relax myself i guess. I just slept for 2 hours+ or so after chatting with Jun, Honey and a bit of Edward. Sigh...i really got fed up with my family controlling my life. So i've decided to do something about it.

Im sure that i'll get scolded badly when i got home but sigh...i dont give a damn. At least for once, i did what i wanted to do without telling my family. It's both a good thing and a bad thing i guess. On the good side, i get to voice out what's inside me. On the bad side, i know that Mother is worried sick. I've got no choice but to do so. I really had to put a stop to this. Like what Vin told me before, to voice out my opinion. Sadly, im more of introverted even towards my own family. I've learned to keep quiet and obey their orders for years and vent frustrations towards my family myself...or more exactly, towards this blog. It's a good thing that i actually blogs. Or else, i wouldnt know where to vent all my frustrations or whom to tell. Of course there are people who're willing to listens but blog is the best. Why? Because they dont reply...they just be my ears. Furthermore, blog helps me to recall my lessons, what i did and stuff like that.

When im older, maybe i can review back my life and judge if what i did that time was right or wrong haha....!! Basically, i've got nothing to do over here right now. I tried to play Cabal private server but my heart wasnt in it. So i quitted, tried ragnarok, registered, get onlined, quit. Didnt even play or hit a monster. Then play my all-time favourite game, Dynasty Warrior. Well, it do cheer me up a bit but im still very moody i guess. I play for one match and i lost. I dont even give a damn when my camp got invaded. I just let the whole game lose. Maybe i play just because i wanted to kill those 'people' to vent my frustration or something.

I am sure Mother is worried sick and stuff like that but ah..what the heck. I dont really bother no more. Anyway, this CC isnt really good. Why? LOL! Rappelz isnt here...no rappelz! So basically what i do around here is just....N.O.T.H.I.N.G. Take my time to blog i guess... Wanna go to dad's place but i guess i cant. Because he's going over to mom's. Ah what the hell! There's this kpc guy who actually come and look at what i was typing. How rude of him! So KPC. Listening to Time of My Life by David Cook right now...so nice... I wanted to listen to more music in this CC but sadly, i cant. Why? Because this CC uses headset and not speaker, which is a good thing but in the same time, LOL! THE HEADSET IS FREAKING DIRTY! SO SO SO SO SO DUSTY AND DIRTY! So i've to live in the world of silence and listen to my 'neighbour' and his friend talk and cursing all those 'beautiful' and 'magnificent' language.

Oh yeah, i too scolded Chris. First time ever i scolded vulgar towards my family. I never ever scolded vulgar towards them and rarely use vulgars towards anyone. I just sort of exploded. Well, what happened actually? Might as well said it here for my future references. What happened was i got 2 days off from work. Cause aunts dont have anything else for me to do, so they think it isnt neccessary for me to work...for now. Aunt Joselyn do wanted me to work but sigh...what i am doing there is just some menial jobs which can be done by the maids. Why bother hiring me to do their job? Wasting money... So the day yesterday and the day before.

Again, "it's been a long time" (i like this sentence XD), since i sleep late at night. So my thought was "Yay! No work! Can sleep late. Let's play and relax for a day. I deserve it after working at aunts'." Mother do warned me before that i shouldnt sleep so late. She warned me before she sleep, she woke up at 3am++ and she warned me again that if later when she came out and i didnt sleep, she would confiscate the laptop. So fine by me...i know the consequences but i still played. Was playin grand chase and i told that girl, 92 (yeah her IGN), that it's the last round and i got to sleep. While 1/2 way through the round, Mother came out and scolded me and all these kind of things. Chris heard, came out and said nothing and carry Darren boy to her room. (I was suppose to take care of Darren boy as in to sleep with him). Fine, i know im wrong so i just keep quiet and let Mother confiscate my laptop. She do warned me first hand, it's just that i refuse to listen. So, fair enough.

The next day...skip all unimportant thing. I do realize i am giving full detail. Who cares, nobody read it except me myself. Anyway, at night, as usual, Chris, Cat and Tat Ko went out to eat and stuff like that. I wanted to follow but was playing Grand Chase half way and i know they cant wait. So i just tell them to go by theirselves and tapau for me. The time was 2100++ or maybe earlier than that, so of course i've got many time to kill so do this and that, eat some chicken while waitin for them to come home etc etc. Then while i was playin rappelzsea's ursa dungeon, Tat Ko called, as usual, he forgot his HP and wanted me to take it down for him. I said no because i was playin rappelz and i cannot quit. He said nvm and wanted to take it himself but then Chris took over the phone and scolded me and warned me to carry the phone down and to take my food. I keep saying no cause i was playing rappelz. To them, game is nothing, but to me, game is a part of my life. Games always was.

I refused, mom came up, scolded me a bit then went down to get the food for me and stuff like that. When Chris came up, she scolded me badly and SHUT DOWN MY GAME WHILE I AM PLAYING! Before that, i tried to push her hand away from shutting down my game but, she pressed that "Power" button on the laptop. So it shuts down. I HAD A MEETING WITH SHURELIA IN GAME! I PROMISED HER THAT I WILL TALK TO HER LATER! I BROKE A PROMISE NOW!!! To most of you, it's no big deal since it's just in game friend, but to me, a promise IS a promise. She herself told me before that she hated it when she's half way through the game and people shut it down or stuff like that. But she did that to me! WTF!

I shouted at her for a while and try to make my point but sigh...i dont really care anymore that time so i just went back to sleep. More to like lie on bed... Anyway, i guess she know she was wrong and tried to make up for me. She tried to talk to me in quite a polite way by telling me, "Tomorrow onwards you close the game at 11pm, you want or not?" I just ignored her... If you're doing something 1/2 way and i disrupt it, you like? Her reason for shutting down the game was cause "I shut down your game is because of what you did yesterday. If you didnt play till so late at night, i wouldnt've shutted down your game etc etc". WTH!!! Then what bout taking those stuff from her? HELLO!!??? We're stayin at 20th floor and for me to get down there and come back usually takes me min, 5minutes or so y'know? I NEVER EVER SAID NO when they asked to take stuff for them! Everytime "William, can you please bring this and that down for us?", i'll always say ok or just whine like "Haihz...ok la ok la". Then get down... NEVER SAID NO!

This is the first time ever and IS IT OVER!? IF IT IS OVER THEN WHAT BOUT WHEN YOU TALK ON PHONE FOR HOURS? The only differences between my gaming and your chatting is i am staring at a 24inch monitor while you're holding up a cellphone. Furthermore, i use my hand to socialize while you uses your mouth to socialize. Other than that, i cannot find much differences. We're socializing, we're having our own fun, we're wasting money (mine electricity while yours is phone bill and cellphone battery). Oh! Another difference is i am POOR and you're RICH. You can pay that expensive phone bill of yours while i cant! What i can do is MSN and chat with friends through game. I am fine with that though.

So what? Money is not important to me... True money can do wonders but when it comes to true feelings (cept greed), money cant do much. Money can buy you friends, but can you guarantee that money can buy you true friend(s)? NO! I switched off my phone just now, i on it back and Cat sent a message. Mother's crying...i've expected this but i've got no choice. I really wanted to be heard and put a stop to all these. I am 19 and i do not want to be controlled to badly anymore. I dare to say i am a much better person now but of course my old habit still lingers around...but not that severe.