Selfish

Is this really what i should start learning? One by one, people around me showed their selfishness. One by one, made me sad. One by one, made me feel like wanna die. One by one, just turns my world becomes gray. When will this end? I feel like crying...I know my heart is crying but there doesnt seem to be any tears dripping down my eyes. What is wrong? Every single time i think that there're others who're in the worse situation than i am, i brightened myself. How long can i keep lying to myself that i should stop helping others so that i do not end up hurting myself? How many times before i could learn that people are selfish? How many times should i cover myself from the fact that people leave after they obtained what they want from you?

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I GO THROUGH THIS BEFORE I LEARN MY LESSON???

JUST HOW MANY!???

Is it really a human's nature to get what they want and leave? How much pain do I have to suffer? I am gifted with the ability to know what I shouldnt know and to everyone, it is cool...to YOU it is cool but to me, it isn't! I'll bringing problems to myself. How much longer until I can control and ignore those things which I know unconciously? How much longer should I suffer before it drives me crazy? I'm just...speechless...you dissapoints me...mysteries bring fourth upon me...

The Power of Music

Well, recently i was introduced to instrumental music specifically, piano by my friend. Amazingly, the music produced by Ryuichi Sakamoto isnt as hideous as what i always heard, in terms of piano. The hideous i mean isnt ugly, disgusting or anything near. It's just that those piano musics didnt reach my heard or mind. I didnt feel any peace or 'niceness' about the composed piece. It's very different in the case of Sakamoto's. It touched me and it's just very calm and peaceful listening to it. Im sure those of you who obsessively listens to music had this condition before whereby you thought you love a song but when you listen more of it, you feel bored and so on. That's because that song just didnt reach your heart.

Rain

Great artistes really do have weird behaviors and he for one is one of them. There's a conductor cum musician from Japan has the same style too. They're like really into the thing and just perform according to the flow of the music. Do they really have higher frequency like what Vinfred said? Whatever it is, they do produces great musics so i couldnt care less. Great painters, artiste and such really do have weird behaviors if you'd noticed. That's because they're not on the same level as a normal human. Their receptive powers are higher or greater than ours which, makes them special i guess.


Merry Christmas Mr.Lawrence