Sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if I am alive.
Sometimes I wonder if I am real.
Sometimes I wonder if this is just a dream.
Sometimes I wonder if I am living in a cell.

Sometimes I ask myself ‘if it’s worth for?’
Sometimes I ask myself ‘if this works.’
Sometimes I ask myself ‘does wish comes true?’
Sometimes I ask myself ‘why discrimination happens?’

Sometimes I just wonder,
If there’s always a meaning behind everything that happens/happened.
Sometimes I just wonder,
Does every action have a reaction?
Sometimes I just wonder,
Is there Heaven and Hell?
Is there Gods and Devils?
Is there Good and Bad?
Is there Angels and Demons?
Why does every action have a reaction?
Is it to make it balanced?

Sometimes I just wonder,
Since we are all humans, and live in the same world, why can’t we be united?
Why is there so many wars waging for day, month, years, decade and even centuries?
Why all the religions cannot seem to understand each other?

They teach us to behave well so and so but why there is still war waging between countries and even religions like the misunderstandings on the world of Islam and the Catholics or something like that.
In the history about the Islam, the Nabi himself waged for war. Is this what they teach us? It is right to protect ourselves but according to the history, the God of the Islam sent an angel to tell Nabi to start the war or something like that. Is it right to do so?

If one is religious enough, then why war? Why not just sit back and relax? Why they want to increase their empire? If it’s for economics and stuffs, why they can’t find some other way to settle it?

They (a priest I saw during the exorcist they made to a F6 girl. And a teacher) say, if one does not have a religion, one would be very barbaric or something like that but am I? How ridiculous is that? And if one is religion-less, one would not be blessed by Gods. What is that suppose to mean? Just think about it. Every religion is interrelated. Why I say so? Just do some research about maybe 5 different types of religions and you will see the similarities. Lastly, who is the person that started to spread the news about the existence of gods? That makes the whole wide world but not everyone believe in gods. Does any of the olden people question about gods? Why we were not allow to question the power of gods?

If only someone could answer me all of those, I will be very satisfied. That’s one of the reason why I choose to stay agnostic rather that a Buddhist or Taoist like my parents.

I don’t care if you found what I said ridiculous or something like that and if I ever said something against your religion then I am sorry but that is the way I think and I never thought of converting anyone that reads this to free thinker or ask questions about God(s). It’s just my expression.

4 th October 2006.
0222 Hrs.

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